Hey beautifuls!
I had the pleasure of being invited back to The Priory School in Hitchin for their second annual mental health conference which focused on the matter of resilience this year. The day was based around how us students as well as teachers can get, grow and give resilience. Dr Kate Middleton says resilience is about overcoming and pushing through tough situations - can we get back up from these moments?
Here is how the day went!
1. Storms will always come - but it is about how you can get back up from these storms! Us humans have convinced ourselves that we cannot fail and perfection is something that has to be met as if we are super-humans with superpowers which is not true. For example, we feel as though we can only post selfies or pictures which show that we are happy and doing well but why is it not acceptable to share that maybe we are not okay sometimes?
2. Happiness isn't just a luck of the draw - 50% of your happiness can be your genes and personality etc but the other 50% is totally your choice - are you a pessimist or an optimistic? We all have duty to learn how to be happy and how to manage our emotions but this can be difficult for us teenagers. The biggest lie your emotions will tell you is that you are not in control but YOU ARE IN CONTROL.
3. What really matters? - we can all feel under pressure about things that we think are important but realistically, they do not really matter such as Facebook or Instagram likes. It depends on what you decide to build your life on - people tend to think that perfectionism is associated with success and not struggles, if we built our lives on success, this would be known as flimsy resilience as success can go in a matter of minutes. Instead, build your life on knowing how valuable you, how loved you are and how significant you are - not on grades, money, success, beauty popularity etc.
4. Emotions and the Truth - emotions do not always tell us the truth, they are there to alert us and get our attention. We need to understand what our emotions are really telling us and not overthink it to be something worse.
5. Instincts are not always helpful - emotions set you up on what to feel and what to do as if there is something that we need to do in order to control something but sometimes we can be in situations where we have no control over it.
Session One: Understanding the Teenage Brain
I attended Dr Kate Middleton's talk about understanding the teenage brain and even I was truly amazed with what I learnt:
1. Emotions
- grabs our attention from something important which then results in physical changes as well as analytic thoughts
- attention can be brought by anxiety and anger which is strongly physical
- emotions are like striking a match - grabs your attention, can turn into a fire but eventually goes away
- due to the way teenage emotions develop, they can be easily triggered and hyper sensitive
- analytic brain is very active during teenage stage which triggers negative thoughts rather than positive
- teenagers brains are trained to focus on social life, friendships and romantic relationships
- adult brain = good at self regulation
- teenage brain = small things trigger mood, energetic and fun life, commonly known to get down and normal for mood to be up and down
- emotional hijack = reacting before you think
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| adult = green teenager = red |
2. Identity
- adults - have a sense of self and know who they are
- teenagers - do not understand themselves so the world revolves around them
- comparisons to others
- what do others think of me?
- more prone to feeling pressured by magazines etc about looks, body size
- harder to get a realistic perspective of who you are
3. Self-Esteem
- grow up with a foundation of self-esteem
- as you grow up, you fill in the gaps on what others think of you
- you realise that everyone has a perspective of you which results in you questioning what you should be like
4. Relationships
- you come out of egocentric stage and start to recognise others more
- as you grow up, it is your duty to depend less of parents but more on peers
- time you figure out your romantic self and sexuality
- Am i just friends with them or am I in love with them?
5. Risk Taking
- frontal lobe takes the longest to develop
- this part motivates you which is something teens always struggle with
- teens' brains are more prone to neuroactive substances such as alcohol and cigarettes
Session Two - Time to Change Strategies
This session with Lauren Steele, Jodie Goodacre and Tanne Spielman was such an insighful and real experience which I was able to relate to so I just want to give a huge thank you to you all on my blog - I am going to leave links below for all you beautifuls to check these beautiful people out. Also, a shoutout to Time to Change which is an amazing organisation out there changing peoples' views on mental health, here is what they do:
- reduces stigma and discrimmination
- growing movement of people changing how we think and act about mental health
- using mental illness as adjectives can also been seen as stigmatising
- celebrities who have spoken out about mental health: Zoella, ZAYN and Demi Lovato
Young people experience stigma from:
- friends (60%)
- family (50%)
- boyfriend/girlfriend (45%)
- teachers (43%)
https://www.justagirlinterrupted.com/ - Jodie's blog
https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/
After these sessions, I made my way around the carousel of organisations and was fortunate enough to speak to quite a few people about volunteering with charities etc.
The day ended with a Q&A Panel which was very helpful, touching on the topics of: males and mental health, sleep and making time for yourself and looking after yourself.
I hope to be back again next year and also to get involved a lot more with mental health awareness in the year coming!
I just wanted to give a little message out there to you beautifuls - please do not think that you are alone, please don't feel like you should be isolated or ashamed if you are struggling and please please please speak out and talk to someone.
It won't be easy by any means but I encourage you all to start up conversations about mental health as it is an increasing topic affecting many of you and if we all can help end the stigma and discrimination towards mental health then we could really be saving lives!
Stay kind to yourselves and stay kind to others.
I love you all lots,
sanz
🖤
