sanz.shares: "Freedom of Speech"

Hey beautifuls!

"Freedom of speech."

One of the most ridiculous responses I have ever been given and in my opinion, it is a stupid reply in most cases.

So let me give you guys a small background to what made me blog about this before sharing with you all my thoughts on this topic as well as other things that go with it. 

I have emphasised many times how passionate I am when it comes to mental health and I am quick to share my strong views about it when the topic is brought up. There is no need for me to target anybody in this, I am simply just sharing my opinions and views on this. There is bound to be many people out there who may disagree and I understand that.

"Why are all these 15 year olds depressed LOOL."

Beautifuls, just take a moment to think about that statement. I don't know about you but I find it completely disgusting; it may be because my knowledge about mental health has grown and I'm experiencing it but even if I wasn't, it still wouldn't seem right. Don't get me wrong, I do understand that some people may not have come across mental health and therefore do not have the intention to mean any harm by some things they say, but if you go about it in an immature way, then I'm sorry but that is wrong.

I made a comment on what this person had said, it being something a long the lines of:
"You can be depressed any time in your life, age has nothing to do with it. It gives you no right to be commenting on in like that, it isn't LOOL at all."
My automatic response to the comment was very angry, but I don't think it is appropriate to share.

The reply I received:
"Freedom of speech"

My main focus on this post was not to use this situation but to talk about the rights we actually have as humans in terms of expressing ourselves and thoughts. But I thought that it was completely relevant to point this out as it ties in well with the mental health stigma I have mentioned previously on my blog. I will also be uploading a future post about the glamorization of mental health.

It is so easy for anybody to justify themselves with the phrase "freedom of speech", but does that really count as a pure explanation?

It angers me so much and I'm certain that some of you reading would agree that it isn't right.
Fair enough that somebody makes a comment or a point about something without having the intention to harm anybody by it; it's what you respond to criticism and polite corrections that makes what you've said, completely wrong.

As cliché as it sounds beautifuls, please think before you speak/do because you honestly don't know what effect it can have on the other person. You don't know about their struggles, just as much as they don't know about yours. Imagine it was the other way round, you wouldn't like to feel targeted.

To me, "freedom of speech" will never be a completely acceptable response; there is a limit to what you can say, in any situation.

I hope this post has been beneficial to any of you and made you see things differently.

I love you all beautifuls,
Sanyha xo

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Future Dreams and Aspirations

Hey beautifuls!

I thought it would be nice to share with you all my dreams and aspirations for the future; it was also requested by one of you beautifuls. It might even give a few of you guys some ideas for your own futures or you could even suggest some things for me to try out and think about. 

Education:

I have chosen to take Psychology, Sociology and Art for A-Levels at Sixth Form. I'm aware that some of my audience aren't from the UK, so this means that I'll be starting senior year - for my beautiful Americans. 

After this, they're are two different routes that I am thinking of taking:

1. To go to University (college for my American beautifuls) and study Education then to do a             Masters Degree in Art Psychotherapy. 

2. To go to University and study Art Therapy 

Careers:

I've always always wanted to become a primary school teacher ever since I was in primary school myself which sounds a bit odd. I have always been the type of person to want to help younger people especially and I thought education was the best way. 

My dream job ever would be to become an art therapist because I absolutely love art and I absolutely love helping people. So this would be the perfect job, combining these two things. Having experienced therapy myself - and still going, I know the significance and difference it makes; I would love to make somebody else feel helped especially through art.

Relationships/my own family:

I'm not quite sure what I'm hoping for in terms of this but Insha'Allah the best can come my way. But I definitely hope to bring up a family of my own one day, Insha'Allah; that's all I'm going to say.

Other dreams:

• I would love to write and publish a book: fictional or even a self help book
• I've imagined about bringing out my own clothing line in the future as well as my own makeup brand 
• I hope to start YouTube and Insha'Allah to become successful and well known in terms of that
• It would be a dream come true if I ever got to work with Habiba Da Silva, or even meet her in fact
• I hope to inspire as many of my beautifuls out there and change as many lives I can, even in the very slightest 
• Most importantly, I hope to keep my friends and family proud, safe and happy

I love you all beautifuls,

Sanyha xo

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sanz.shares: My Hijab Story

Hey beautifuls!

As requested, I am going to be sharing my Hijab Story with you all. I'm sorry if this post is fairly long but I hope you will stay interested in what I have to say. 

My Hijab Story may not be like others' that you may have read or watched but I guess that's a good thing isn't it?

So here is my story:

I came to the decision to start wearing the hijab a couple of months into year 7 which was in 2011-2012. 

2011-2012

2012

Starting with my reasons to why I made this decision: I know I was pretty young, at the age of 11 I felt like it was the right time to start wearing the hijab even though I didn't understand the concept fully. It just felt right at the time and even though this isn't a easy decision to make for us young girls especially, it just clicked with me. 

In 2005, I was fortunate enough to be given the opportunity to go to Saudi Arabia and complete Hajj and Ummrah. Alhamdulillah my parents were able to take me, considering that they had made this intention to take me once I was born. I am incredibly lucky and grateful. 

This experience had a huge influence to my decision in becoming a hijabi. I wanted to obey Allah(swt) as this is what He wants of us Muslim women, to guard our modesty; as well as this, I grew up around people who had always covered themselves, which taught me to see that this was the right way forward. It just made sense. 

Although I started wearing a headscarf, I only wore this to school and it wasn't until a year or two later when I began to cover my hair wherever I went. A had a gap in my knowledge to what it meant to take on the hijab as it isn't just about covering your hair but it is also intertwined with other elements. I was very passionate about wearing my headscarf despite having a lack of knowledge in the further reasoning behind it.

2015

It came to mid year 10 when I started to feel a bit unsure about my identity and my levels of insecurity were rising. Typical teenage life happened, the caring about what others think habit grew, trying to fit in with everyone and the thoughts of making sure I didn't seem too different from anyone were overwhelming me. 

As some of you know, this is roughly around the time where I got diagnosed with depression. (If you haven't read my blog post about my mental illness story then please check it out)

Long story short: I starting losing faith in Islam when my depression became unbearably bad for me. With this came the urge to quit wearing a headscarf, I stopped praying and simply just stopped caring about anything religion-related. I started showing my hair more on social media, I started to wear tighter clothes with the pressure of the latest trends and I just did not care. I know this might be a shock to some people but I am proud to say that I've found my faith again and Alhamdulillah I am doing well so far. 

During this time period, I continued to wear hijab even though I wasn't comfortable with it. I was too scared about the judgements I would have received if I took it off and I didn't want this to be an additional problem to the rest of the issues I was facing at the time so I just fought through it.

2016

I am aware that hijabi's receive a lot of discrimination about wearing a headscarf or even for the clothes they wear. The sad thing about this is that most of these comments and judgements come from other Muslimahs themselves which is completely wrong. 

No need to negatively comment on the way others dress but instead, kindly give them your opinion and guide them to the right path. 

I wear hijab for myself and Allah(swt) only, not for anybody else. Remember that beautifuls. 

Anymore questions to do with my hijab story then please comment or contact me! Don't forget to share!

Love you all beautifuls,

Sanyha xo

Revision Tips

Hey beautifuls!

It has been roughly two weeks since I've posted which actually seems like forever and I've missed it. If you haven't checked out my note page about the blog arrangements for the next few months then please click 'new blog arrangements' on the home page to find out more!

So this has been requested A LOT from you guys within the last month or so and I think this a very convenient time to share with you my thoughts and ideas on revision tips!

Just a quick disclaimer: this is my own strategy that I use and it may not work for everybody and you might not agree so find out what can work for you. 

Top Ten Tips

• Be and feel organised - if you don't know what you're doing and where everything is, it will be stressful 

• Treat yourself/take breaks - everybody says this but honestly, follow it. Decide something to look forward to on your revision break so you can stay motivated, but you have to be disciplined with yourself. 

• Food/drink/fresh air - this is so typical for everyone to say this but trust me guys, I've seen the difference that this makes and it's a huge one. Eating well, drinking lots of water especially and even going for a small walk will clear your mind and give you energy which then allows you to feel relaxed whilst revising.

• Phones - whether you deny it or not, phones are a big distraction especially for our generation. I'm guilty of it too, a lot in fact. I know it's hard but it's works, put your phone away! Just remember that you can go back to it on your breaks. 

• Be comfortable - make sure to have enough space around you for your books and revision and that you're happy with your workspace otherwise you won't be in the revision mode

• Timetables - if you haven't already, I strongly suggest that you start making a revision timetable. If you're struggling then feel free to contact me and I may be able to give you advice on how to make one

• Resources - this might help some people but I don't think it's the most productive way of revising, don't just stare at revision guides! I suggest printing off past papers, subject checklists, specification for your subjects as well as revision guides. 

• Revise in groups sometimes - Isolation can be a big problem with revision because some people may start to stress and overthink when they're alone revising when they'd much rather do something else like I do sometimes. Try to mix your revision a bit with group work and sharing ideas 

• Prioritising - I strongly recommend to follow this tip because you have to be a little bit firm with
yourself for the next few months, it just has to be done. Do not avoid your social life by any means but be reasonable because it's such an important time. The revision period will only last a few months and then think about everything to look forward to once exams are over! That should be your motivation to keep going. 

• Learn your revision style - it important to know which method of revising is more effective for you because different people revise differently, so once you know what works for you, you should be comfortable 

Revision strategies for my subjects:

PAST PAPERS ARE KEY TO EVERY SUBJECT YOU TAKE. 

Maths:  I make revision cue cards on each topics, starting from the content I find hardest. I use my maths textbook and previous notes to help me with this. I then like to use mathswatch which I find so so so useful as it talks you through each topic and the grade level of your choice and then it gives you questions to try yourself. 

English Language: I do past questions to improve on my writing style and understand fully what I am asked to do. Looking at exemplars help also. 

English Literature(poetry): I am re-annotating each poem, making sure I understand the poem fully. I strongly recommend MrBruff on YouTube, who talks through each poem. 

English Literature: I am going to be re-reading both of the texts that I've been studying and I am making notes on the characters, themes/ideas and also completing past questions 

Additional Science: I am making cue cards on Biology, Chemistry and Physics by starting with my weakest topics. I am making mind maps for Biology, Chemistry and Physics with concise and key notes. I also use myGCSEscience which is a lifesaver and I strongly recommend watching his videos. 

Child Development: I am making cue cards for each topic, starting with my weakest, then testing myself and doing past papers. 

Spanish Listening&Reading: I will be doing past papers and using VocabExpress. 

Remember that this is what works for me but if you would like to take some ideas from this then you're more than welcome. 

I hope everyone's revision is going well and I wish you all good luck!

For any more advice then please contact me. 

Only a few months of this and then we will be free beautifuls, love you all. 

Sanyha xo

Lifestyle: Bengali vs British

Hey beautifuls!

This week's post will be a little different but it has been requested by a few people. I also thought that this topic would be interesting for me to write as well as to share with you all. If there are anymore topics you would like me to publish in the future then please contact me and share your suggestions!

So I am going to discuss my views on living as a Bengali girl here in England and the differences I have seen between the two cultures I take part in and am surrounded by. Some of you may be wondering what differences could possibly occur but you will honestly be surprised with what we may have to face. I am sure that this is the same with anyone of other ethnicities living in the UK as well.

I am going to start off by answering some questions from the ethnicity tag to let you guys understand a little more about my background:

What is your ethnicity?
I am Bengali as both of my parents were born and bred in Bangladesh.

When was the last time you visited your country?
The last time I visited Bangladesh was when I was in Year 7 which was in 2012. I went with my whole family to see my grandad (my mum's dad).

Name one ethnic food you enjoy the most.
My favourite ethnic food has to be this thing called tenga boroi. Boroi in English is dried jujube fruit. I love the way my mum makes this as it tastes so good and is so flavoursome. She boils the boroi to make it soft and then mixes it in with date molasses, burned garlic and some coriander.

Name one household item that best represents your culture.
There are quite a few items that could represent the Bengali culture but I think my Bengali audience out there will agree with me that the best item to represent is the paan tray also known as the paan daan. I guarantee you all that this will found in every Bengali household. It is basically a tray with a few pots containing betel leaf, areca nut and other ingredients.

What part of your country are you from?
My parents are both from Sylhet. My dad's side is from Dottogram and my mum's side is from Umor Pur.

What song reminds you of your country? (language of your ethnicity)
This is a quite funny question as I do not listen to Bengali music at all but the only song I know and remember is: Habib - Balo Bashbo...

Can you speak the language of your ethnicity?
Yes I can speak Bengali and I do speak it on a daily basis to my parents as my siblings and I have been brought up to speak the language. I'm not completely fluent but I do know a fair bit.

So that's it with the ethnicity tag questions and now I am going to discuss some topics relating to how different it can be living with both the Bengali and British culture. I will also be vaguely mentioning religion into this so if any of you would like me to do any posts or tags relating to religion and Islam specifically then please do let me know!

Quite a big topic that is spoken about is marriage which is really interesting because some people don't seem to understand the idea of arranged marriages. People jump to conclusions thinking that arranged marriages are the same as forced marriages but in reality they are two complete different things. In the British culture, most people are expected to find their own partner and there is also a common tendency that young British people are brought up to be more independent once they reach adulthood as they move out at a younger age. This can make people feel pressurised in finding someone who they can marry, however in the Asian community, some pressure is lifted from their shoulders. This is because they can fall back on their parents and rely them to find someone who can be suitable for them. Especially in today's society where everybody is getting into relationships, it can be hard for young people to find 'the one'. There is a possibility that many young people out there can feel left out for not being in a relationship but this should not be the case. As a young Bengali girl, only 15, I have seen and learnt the differences of marriage in both cultures and in my opinion there is no wrongs in either culture. I am just trying to share with all of my non Bengali audience, what it can be like and to explain to you a different perspective of how people can view relationships and marriage. The idea of arranged marriage is an arrangement agreed with the family/guardians of the couple concerned. Many meetings and talks are made between the two people to ensure that it is the right decision and that both of the individuals are happy with the choices made. In Islam, it is forbidden to have an premarital relationship (girlfriend/boyfriend) which can also add to the pressure of young Muslims and it is very common, however this is where the tradition of arranged marriages fit in. Despite the pressure of today's society to find a girlfriend/boyfriend, people of the Asian culture are quite lucky as they don't feel as pressured to find somebody on their own. Arranged marriages do occur in the Western culture but it is not as common.

Of course I have to mention fashion as it is one of the main focuses on my blog! In the Asian culture, there are specific fashion trends and the most common dress that you guys may have heard of is a saree, but there is also selwar kameez. This comes from Indian fashion and as well as this, jewelry is quite a big thing in Bangladesh. Being a Bengali girl in England, I do find that I have to balance out my decisions on what to wear. I am expected to wear Asian dress for weddings and when visiting relatives'. As I am very passionate about fashion and I like to make effort in looking presentable for myself; keeping up with the latest Western trends, I do find that my love for Western fashion overrides the traditional Bengali wear. It is quite difficult because in Islam, modest clothing is expected as oppose to tight fashion, exposure of body shape and skin which is what most of the Western trends are. Nobody is perfect therefore they can't do everything that is expected of them, which is why it can be so difficult for young people especially in today's society.

I am aware that this post is becoming very very long so I am going to stop here. If you are interested in anything else to do with culture, relating to food for example, then let me know and I'll be happy to add that in for you guys! As always, if you have any questions or suggestions then feel free to contact me!

Love you all,
Sanyha xo

Review: Nude Lip Products

Hey beautifuls!

Just a little note before I get into this week's blog post: I'm aware that a blog post did not go up last Sunday and I am sorry for that. I have been quite busy and stressed with school and a lot more; I also didn't have a post prepared to upload but I hope last Thursday's post made up for that. By the way, thank you all for the support from that post, it is much appreciated. 

Okay, so today's post is a beauty related one which may not be for everybody but I'm hoping to make it suitable for those you love makeup. In this post I am going to review my nude lip product collection.

If any of you have any recommendations then please do let me know because of love to try them out!

My Nude Lip Product Collection

(A quick disclaimer: Some of the swatches have come out different to how they actually appear on the lips and on different skin tones. So, please do not take all of the swatches literally as it may give a false impression of what you are looking for, but please do consider the products, If you have any questions or queries about the following products that I mention, then feel free to contact me!)

Reviews:

MAC Matte Lipsticks: £15.50
I absolutely LOVE the MAC matte lipsticks and I don't think I have anything bad to say about them to be honest. The formula of the product is creamy which is a huge benefit to the feel of the lipstick on your lips and it is also fairly long-lasting. I definitely prefer the matte lipsticks to the other forms of lipsticks but that may be just a personal preference.

Kiko Velvet Matte Lipsticks: £6.90
I got really excited when these came through the post last week, however I was pretty disappointed when they arrived. Don't get me wrong, I do love the shades and the packaging but for me, I think that the colour pay off is not worth it. I find that you would have to constantly have to apply it throughout the day as it is not very long-lasting and it can come off easily.

Sephora Lipsticks: £12.00
I have four different Sephora Matte Lipsticks and I find them all quite drying after a while but it definitely is very long-lasting. After a while it can start to crumble off if your lips are not moisturised enough but overall it is a satisfying product.

Dose of Colour Liquid Lipsticks
Oh my, these are AMAZING. The only thing I don't like about this product is that it is quite hard to apply with the applicator so I do recommend that you apply it with a lip brush. It is a thick and long-lasting liquid which only needs one coat and is not sticky at all.

Essence Velvet Matte Lipgloss: £2.30
This product has such a nice applicator which allows you to apply the lipgloss very well. It's not amazing compared to the other products but for the price, it is lovely. I recommend you to use this on top of either a lipliner or a lipstick because it gives a better colour pay off and it is so nice as a combination.

LA Girl Matte Liquid Lipsticks: £6.50
Okay, these might have to be my favourite liquid lipsticks that I own because there isn't a single thing that I can say which is bad about them. The colour range and pay off is amazing, its extremely long-lasting and it dried matte so nicely. However they are extremely hard to remove, so I usually remove them with oil.

NYX Soft Matte Lip Creams: £7.00
I love the NYX lip creams because the texture is so soft and it sits on your lips beautifully. The colour range of these products are very wide and they do last quite long. I recommend using these lip creams with a combination of a lip liner to make it stand out more.

The prices may vary depending on where you purchase the products and shipping costs. Again, if you guys have any recommendations or questions then please let me know!

I hope that this post has been beneficial to some of you and please do send me some blog suggestions that you would like to see in the weeks to come. That could include any particular topics, beauty, fashion or art.

I hope your half term in going well and I hope that you will be back next Sunday to see what I have decided to share.

Love you all,
Sanyha xo

sanz.shares: Time to Talk Mental Health

Hey beautifuls!

So today is Time to Talk Day about Mental Health. I have decided to upload this post to raise the thoughts about mental health and start conversations going about it. The purpose of today is to get the whole nation talking about mental health and helping to stop the discrimination against it by stopping the social stigma attached. For those of you who know me well, will know that I am very passionate when it comes to conversations about mental illnesses and well being because I have strong views about it. I want to be able to help those who are scared or worried about speaking out; to let them know that we shouldn't be afraid of the discrimination against mental health and we certainly cannot let it stop us for seeking help and support. I want to be able to inspire people who are bottling their feelings inside and most importantly, I want to let you guys know that you're not alone. 

I am aware that this post will be fairly long , but I believe that this topic is too important to ignore. There will be many future blog posts about mental health and any questions that come along with it. If any of you have any questions or topics you would like me to talk about in these future blog posts then please do contact me and I'll be more than happy to do so. 

For today's purpose, I have built up the courage to share with you all about my mental health story and experience. I hope that my story can give hope, inspire and also make people see things in a different perspective.

So here is my story:

On Monday 12th January 2015, I was diagnosed with severe depression. I have been battling depression for over a year and I am still here, continuing to fight it. I must admit, that 2015 was the most difficult year that I have ever had to go through in my life, but I have made it through to 2016 which is saying something. I did it. I made it through a complete year, despite it being so hard for me and those around me, including family and friends. 

I am going to share the ups and downs of my mental illness story but I'm hoping that both sides can be beneficial to all of you, whether you are suffering from a mental illness, whether you think you are or whether you know someone who is fighting through it. 

I am going to be completely open and truthful about my experience and I do not intend to upset, hurt or trigger anybody by this. If you feel as though this will make you uncomfortable then I strongly suggest that you don't read because the last thing I'd want to do is to hurt anybody. 

Throughout the last year, I have had up to 3 suicide attempts, with one being quite major. There have been quite a few times within the last year where I've had to go to hospital because of my suicidal thoughts or actions. I am still going through this illness and I am aware that it's a part of me now which I accept. Although I am confident enough to speak out about it, this does not mean those thoughts and feelings are not there anymore because I do have my moments. I have experienced many times of self harm, which I won't go into right now. I have questioned my life and existence countless amount of times, I've questioned myself from head to toe repeatedly within the last year and it has changed my life completely. Thoughts of worthlessness, uselessness and not being good enough for anybody or anything has been on my mind even way before my diagnosis. There were days where I didn't see the point in getting out of bed, there were days where I didn't want to see anyone or talk to anybody, there were days that I stopped eating, there were nights that I didn't go to sleep at all, there were times where the most littlest things in any other person's eyes were easy to do, it was the most difficult thing for me in the world. Getting up was effort, brushing my teeth was effort, changing my clothes was effort, writing was effort, talking was effort and life was just too much effort which I didn't care in trying for. 

I cannot expect anybody to understand what I am explaining unless you have been through it yourself but I am trying to speak out for people to become aware of how serious mental health problems can be. Mental illness should be seen and treated like any other illness such as cancer or diabetes. 

I have had a huge amount of support since my diagnosis, from family, friends, school and my therapist. I believe that, without any of them I probably wouldn't have been here today. I am forever grateful those people even if it doesn't seem like it, so thank you to you all. It has been a difficult journey for them all as well as me but I hope for this journey to continue in a positive way. 

I started to see a therapist at a mental health clinic by the end of January last year - where my GP referred me to. I saw that therapist every week until the beginning of year 11 which was when I had been referred to a different therapist. I still have therapy every week and I was also put on anti depressants from December 2015. I felt as though the therapy was not working as much as I needed it to, so balancing it with the medication was thought to be a better route for me. Ever since the medication, I have seen a positive change in my life even though I do have my episodes every now and then, it's important to know how the medication works and I must accept the way it works. 

I can definitely say that I have changed massively within the last year from where I started as having depression. However, I am not completely better, I am still battling depression but with the help of others, the medication and my own hope, hopefully I can get through this. Now I am not ashamed to speak out and say I have depression because it is honestly nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, I think that having this experience has made me see things so differently and my views on life and people have changed in a good way. 

For any of you who feels down, or thinks that something is wrong then I hope my story has made you believe that you can get through this. I am living proof of surviving through this illness and it is such a great feeling to be fighting it and winning. 

I am certain that I have missed out certain parts of my story and some of it may have not made sense but if there are any questions about my experience or anything that you think will benefit you or someone you know then please ask. 

The purpose of me sharing my story is not to seek attention or anything like that. It is simply in the hope that I can help those who are scared of speaking out or even to let people see mental health in a different light. If this post has been beneficial to you in any way, please let me know and share this to your social media sites because I feel as though this is so so important. Help get the nation talking about mental illness and let's stop the discrimination against it.

You are not alone and there is hope to get through whatever you are going through. Have faith in yourself. 

You are important, don't let anybody tell you otherwise. 

Love you all beautifuls,

Sanyha xo

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