sanz.shares: My Hijab Story

Hey beautifuls!

As requested, I am going to be sharing my Hijab Story with you all. I'm sorry if this post is fairly long but I hope you will stay interested in what I have to say. 

My Hijab Story may not be like others' that you may have read or watched but I guess that's a good thing isn't it?

So here is my story:

I came to the decision to start wearing the hijab a couple of months into year 7 which was in 2011-2012. 

2011-2012

2012

Starting with my reasons to why I made this decision: I know I was pretty young, at the age of 11 I felt like it was the right time to start wearing the hijab even though I didn't understand the concept fully. It just felt right at the time and even though this isn't a easy decision to make for us young girls especially, it just clicked with me. 

In 2005, I was fortunate enough to be given the opportunity to go to Saudi Arabia and complete Hajj and Ummrah. Alhamdulillah my parents were able to take me, considering that they had made this intention to take me once I was born. I am incredibly lucky and grateful. 

This experience had a huge influence to my decision in becoming a hijabi. I wanted to obey Allah(swt) as this is what He wants of us Muslim women, to guard our modesty; as well as this, I grew up around people who had always covered themselves, which taught me to see that this was the right way forward. It just made sense. 

Although I started wearing a headscarf, I only wore this to school and it wasn't until a year or two later when I began to cover my hair wherever I went. A had a gap in my knowledge to what it meant to take on the hijab as it isn't just about covering your hair but it is also intertwined with other elements. I was very passionate about wearing my headscarf despite having a lack of knowledge in the further reasoning behind it.

2015

It came to mid year 10 when I started to feel a bit unsure about my identity and my levels of insecurity were rising. Typical teenage life happened, the caring about what others think habit grew, trying to fit in with everyone and the thoughts of making sure I didn't seem too different from anyone were overwhelming me. 

As some of you know, this is roughly around the time where I got diagnosed with depression. (If you haven't read my blog post about my mental illness story then please check it out)

Long story short: I starting losing faith in Islam when my depression became unbearably bad for me. With this came the urge to quit wearing a headscarf, I stopped praying and simply just stopped caring about anything religion-related. I started showing my hair more on social media, I started to wear tighter clothes with the pressure of the latest trends and I just did not care. I know this might be a shock to some people but I am proud to say that I've found my faith again and Alhamdulillah I am doing well so far. 

During this time period, I continued to wear hijab even though I wasn't comfortable with it. I was too scared about the judgements I would have received if I took it off and I didn't want this to be an additional problem to the rest of the issues I was facing at the time so I just fought through it.

2016

I am aware that hijabi's receive a lot of discrimination about wearing a headscarf or even for the clothes they wear. The sad thing about this is that most of these comments and judgements come from other Muslimahs themselves which is completely wrong. 

No need to negatively comment on the way others dress but instead, kindly give them your opinion and guide them to the right path. 

I wear hijab for myself and Allah(swt) only, not for anybody else. Remember that beautifuls. 

Anymore questions to do with my hijab story then please comment or contact me! Don't forget to share!

Love you all beautifuls,

Sanyha xo