Hyde Park Photoshoot

Hey beautifuls!

A couple of weeks ago, I went into London with my friend Trinity (some of you may have heard of her from my snapchat vlogs - sanyhaax). It was a beautiful day which consisted of makeup shopping of course and also a small photoshoot session at Hyde Park.

It being my first time at Hyde Park, I was extremely pumped to see the views and take in the surrounding. The photoshoot was not planned at all but I thought it was a great place to take some interesting shoots once I had arrived. If you follow me on Instagram (@sanz.shares) you will have noticed a few of these shots that were taken as I had posted them.

Hyde Park was not too busy at all when Trinity and I were there which meant that the emptiness of the park made the photos present a specific vibe that I was looking for - the idea of thinking and looking into the future as well as being in an individual zone of my own.

I don't take part in photoshoots often and I am certainly not amazing at it but I love the idea that photography can portray thoughts and feelings as well as a message. I hope to take part in more shoots in the future whether this is with my friends or a professional. Me being a very emotional and heart felt person as you all know from my vlogs and my art work too, I would love to plan shoots where others can take something from it or even find memorising by interpreting it themselves.

This post is purely just to share with you guys the photos that Trinity took of me - inspiration can be taken from this but I would also appreciate some feedback or suggestions for future shoots.

Also beautifuls, don't forget to check out my first YouTube video - the link is on my Instagram bio.

I hope you enjoy the pictures. (These photos were taken for fun, not for any sort of professional photoshoot)

I love you all, 

Sanyha xo

I am starting YouTube!

Hey beautifuls!

I HAVE FINALLY GOT A YOUTUBE CHANNEL! (Well, two YouTube channels)

I am so excited to announce that I will be starting YouTube this summer and videos will be uploaded from July onwards, InShaaAllah. I thought I would create a post to let you all know a little bit about my YouTube channels beforehand so you know what to expect.

I have two channels up: sanz.shares (main channel) and sanz.sharesvlogs (vlog channel). Hopefully I will be able to upload a video on each channel a week, however I do apologise in advance if there are any delays on video uploads, as I am not quite sure how the beginning of my channel will proceed. A main channel video will be up every Wednesday and a weekly vlog will be posted on a Sunday on my vlogging channel. (These are also the days I will be uploading blog posts)

Main Channel

My main channel will be beauty and lifestyle based, however I feel as though I will also cover various areas such as mental health and YouTube tags.

Here are a list of a few types of videos that will be uploaded on the sanz.shares channel:

• makeup tutorials
• hijab tutorials
• product reviews
• tags/challenges
• topic based discussions

Vlogging Channel

I have been eager to start up a vlogging channel for a while now and I thought it would be very convenient as it is the next step from my snapchat vlogging which I started at the beginning of 2016. I have decided to upload a weekly vlog instead of going through with daily vlogging as I believe it is a good starting point for me - being a YouTube beginner.
I hope to share with you beautifuls what I get up to during my summer holidays and through into my sixth form life.

Why YouTube?

The main purpose of both of my YouTube channels is to help my beautiful people out there. Honestly, if I am able to have a positive effect on a single person through my videos, that is more than enough for me. I hope to inspire, help, motivate and bring a joyful vibe to anybody who watches my future videos on YouTube.
I have always been afraid to follow my dreams and go ahead with what I want to do rather than what other people have told me to do. Self belief was not even in the picture. But I can do it. I know I can do it. I am doing this for me but not just for me, for all of you also.
Growing up I was always a shy and quiet girl who was too afraid to put her ideas across just in case she was to be judged for it. I feel as though YouTube will allow me to be myself and find that confidence to share my ideas and thoughts just like my blog has - it can be my comfort zone, and if that means inspiring people out there then what a bonus right?

I want to thank my beautifuls because I would not be at this stage if it was not for you all. You guys inspired me to go ahead with these YouTube channels as well as my YouTuber idols. I hope that you guys can continue to support me through the sanz.shares journey - once again, I am extremely grateful.

Be sure to contact me for any video suggestions.

First YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78oZS5Hvhz8



Remember to have faith beautifuls, in everything you do no matter how small it is. I love you all.



Sanyha xo

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The Next Step

Hey beautifuls!

Oh wow, it has been a long while hasn't it? I honestly cannot explain how much I have missed blogging and creating content for you all, but now I am back after a very long break! Firstly, I would like to apologise for the lack of activity I have been making regards to my blog. GCSEs were one of my top priorities and I was under a lot of stress as a lot of other Year11s may have been, I can imagine. But now I'm back with an extremely long summer break and many things to look forward to! I just wanted to update you all on the future plans and things that I have been planning and thinking through the past few months.

Firstly, I would love to hear about what you would like to see in terms of future blog posts, YouTube videos (yes I am starting up YouTube soon!) and what you would like to see in vlogs also. So please contact me via the contact form on this blog or alternatively you can contact any one of my social media sites which are linked on this blog too. This will be beneficial to all of you as well as me in order for me to know what you would read/watch. 

If you don't already know, I have created two YouTube channels: sanz.shares and sanz.sharesvlogs. I know it is pretty early but I just wanted to get the channels up and known about before I start uploading videos from August onwards. A whole new post dedicated to my YouTube will be up soon hopefully so watch out for that one. 

In terms of my own self, I feel as though I have been trying to balance a lot lately so I do apologise in advance for any delays. I have progressed and learnt a lot about many things during my break and I am so excited to share it with you all.

The next step is all about getting onto the next level of the sanz.shares journey and I hope that you all will be intrigued by what is to come. I feel as though I have been moving on rather quickly this year in terms of my blog and the progression of confidence in my vlogs. Bearing in mind that this all began at the beginning of the year and we are half way through the year now which is crazy! I just want to say a huge thank you to my blog/vlog viewers as you really have become part of my life which I am grateful for, no matter how many of you there are.

I know this may not have been the most interesting post (and also may not have been written to the best of my ability) but I believe it's important to have updated you all. I hope my beautifuls have been well while I was hibernating and I hope you are as excited as I am for what's to come next. 

Remember to always have faith in everything you do beautifuls, no matter how small it may be. Love you all. 

Sanyha xo

sanz.shares: The Waiting Room

Babies crying, machines beeping and my mind racing. This is my fifth time sitting in the hospital waiting room for the same reason and I'm feeling sick of it now. Despite the fact that I'm to blame right now for this situation, the anger towards everybody else keeps rising to the extent where its uncontrollable.

The waiting room. 

It's amazing how much you learn and witness just by sitting in the hospital waiting room for a few hours, nine hours maximum in my experience. The amount of attention and care for everybody around makes you feel at home; the chaotic noise still irritates you within. 

The exhausted eyes of everyone surrounding me, innocent beautiful infants at discomfort surrounding me and alert nurses surrounding me. I feel safe. Calmly sitting down on solid seats with Jessie J singing "it's okay not to be okay" in my ears constantly, I wait patiently for another doctor to come and approach me. In all honesty, I couldn't be any more happier and relieved that I'm still breathing right now. Not meaning that I feel on top of the world as my issues haven't disappeared nor have the constant anxiety that I'm feeling, but it's okay. 

With numbing cream sitting on my skin smoothly, I've been told to wait fourty five minutes in order to be seen by the doctor as well as the mental health team. Physically, I almost feel perfectly fine yet mentally, it differs slightly. I'm in the position where I'm clueless to what my mind is saying to me, everything is so unclear but I'm sat with the hope that everything can become clear to me shortly. 

I am going to get through this. I don't know about you but I know for a fact that I can do this. 

I'm absorbing the atmosphere around me and all of a sudden I feel amazed, utterly amazed. The aura that's given off by this place touched me, warming my heart along with my loved ones coming to mind. I have so much potential, how could I not believe it. Why do I not give myself the appreciation that I deserve? Why am I my worst enemy? 

It doesn't have to be like this, I keep thinking. Don't blame yourself for this Sanyha, I keep thinking. 

Beautifuls, it doesn't have to be like this. I don't have to be here again. I could be reaching my goals and aspirations instead. I never know, I could become a successful YouTuber; I could meet and work with Habiba Da Silva; I could help young victims of mental health through art; I could bring up a beautiful family of my own; I could inspire many people out there with what I have to give, I could do anything. 

I'm showing you that I'm living proof of having to go through such hardship but bravely and strongly getting through this no matter how hard it is. It's not going to be perfect and it's not going to be easy. That's life for you, as cliché as it sounds. I promise you my beautifuls, you are so important to many people even if you cannot believe it right this moment and I believe in every single one of you. I can't stress it enough. 

My intentions are nothing but positive for you all because believe it or not, you all mean a huge amount to me. 

I am forever grateful for your support. 

Remember: you are important, don't let anybody tell you otherwise. 

I love you all beautifuls,

Sanyha xo

(30/03/16 12PM)

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sanz.shares: Clueless

Clueless. 

Have you ever felt nothing but also everything at the same time? Yes?

Well that's me pretty much everyday of my life whether you see it or not but that's okay. It's scary you know, feeling as if you have no control over yourself when in reality you alone are the only person who can both physically and mentally control yourself. But that all just seems like a blur and it's messy, a lot like how my mind is like, pretty much everyday of my life. 

Do you ever feel empty? Yes? Because I sure do, pretty often too but that's okay you know. But remember, not everyone will understand that; you need to be careful because nowadays you can't rely on and trust everyone you meet. It just doesn't work like that. Talk to people, but only people you really trust because in reality how many of your friends can you actually call friends? Things are changing and people are changing, fast. Deep down, I know there's something in you that's not empty at all, everyone has something special within them, just remember that. 

Lonely or alone? They are two different things and people say it is rare to feel both at the same time. Have you felt both? Yes? Well so have I, pretty much everyday of my life but that's okay. Lately, it's become so known to rely on people, interact with people and thoughts of needing to please everybody have increased. The amount of judgements and assumptions have been increasing. Can this be partly the reason? You don't seem to find that being civil with one another is a natural thing to do when two people don't really see each other eye to eye. It makes you think doesn't it? I know I would probably re-think my whole self in this situation and this is what leads people into the trap of feeling alone or lonely because people simply cannot just be nice with each other and to each other. The pressure of friendship groups, the pressure of getting into relationships and the pressure of needing to be good enough is more than enough for somebody to feel alone or lonely. These days, in young people especially, it is seriously getting so fixed into people's heads that they need to be like everyone else, doing what everyone else is doing; if they don't, then you're quick to be classified as the 'odd one out.' This isn't right at all. 

Do you ever feel clueless? Yes? Well I do too, pretty much everyday of my life but that's okay. I'm clueless. 

Clueless. 

Clueless or not? Keep going. Honestly, keep going. Whether you are alone, confused, empty or 'feelingless', keep going. You are the only one that matters, other people can wait. Whatever you do, do it for you and don't you dare let anybody stop you. You have passion? Do something with it and forget everyone else. You have something to express? Express it and forget everyone else. 

Because that's exactly what I'm doing and I hope that's something to look up to. Despite everything that's gone on in my life and what's going on in my life at the moment, I'm still going so you can too, okay?

I love you all my beautifuls,

Sanyha xo

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sanz.shares: "Freedom of Speech"

Hey beautifuls!

"Freedom of speech."

One of the most ridiculous responses I have ever been given and in my opinion, it is a stupid reply in most cases.

So let me give you guys a small background to what made me blog about this before sharing with you all my thoughts on this topic as well as other things that go with it. 

I have emphasised many times how passionate I am when it comes to mental health and I am quick to share my strong views about it when the topic is brought up. There is no need for me to target anybody in this, I am simply just sharing my opinions and views on this. There is bound to be many people out there who may disagree and I understand that.

"Why are all these 15 year olds depressed LOOL."

Beautifuls, just take a moment to think about that statement. I don't know about you but I find it completely disgusting; it may be because my knowledge about mental health has grown and I'm experiencing it but even if I wasn't, it still wouldn't seem right. Don't get me wrong, I do understand that some people may not have come across mental health and therefore do not have the intention to mean any harm by some things they say, but if you go about it in an immature way, then I'm sorry but that is wrong.

I made a comment on what this person had said, it being something a long the lines of:
"You can be depressed any time in your life, age has nothing to do with it. It gives you no right to be commenting on in like that, it isn't LOOL at all."
My automatic response to the comment was very angry, but I don't think it is appropriate to share.

The reply I received:
"Freedom of speech"

My main focus on this post was not to use this situation but to talk about the rights we actually have as humans in terms of expressing ourselves and thoughts. But I thought that it was completely relevant to point this out as it ties in well with the mental health stigma I have mentioned previously on my blog. I will also be uploading a future post about the glamorization of mental health.

It is so easy for anybody to justify themselves with the phrase "freedom of speech", but does that really count as a pure explanation?

It angers me so much and I'm certain that some of you reading would agree that it isn't right.
Fair enough that somebody makes a comment or a point about something without having the intention to harm anybody by it; it's what you respond to criticism and polite corrections that makes what you've said, completely wrong.

As cliché as it sounds beautifuls, please think before you speak/do because you honestly don't know what effect it can have on the other person. You don't know about their struggles, just as much as they don't know about yours. Imagine it was the other way round, you wouldn't like to feel targeted.

To me, "freedom of speech" will never be a completely acceptable response; there is a limit to what you can say, in any situation.

I hope this post has been beneficial to any of you and made you see things differently.

I love you all beautifuls,
Sanyha xo

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Future Dreams and Aspirations

Hey beautifuls!

I thought it would be nice to share with you all my dreams and aspirations for the future; it was also requested by one of you beautifuls. It might even give a few of you guys some ideas for your own futures or you could even suggest some things for me to try out and think about. 

Education:

I have chosen to take Psychology, Sociology and Art for A-Levels at Sixth Form. I'm aware that some of my audience aren't from the UK, so this means that I'll be starting senior year - for my beautiful Americans. 

After this, they're are two different routes that I am thinking of taking:

1. To go to University (college for my American beautifuls) and study Education then to do a             Masters Degree in Art Psychotherapy. 

2. To go to University and study Art Therapy 

Careers:

I've always always wanted to become a primary school teacher ever since I was in primary school myself which sounds a bit odd. I have always been the type of person to want to help younger people especially and I thought education was the best way. 

My dream job ever would be to become an art therapist because I absolutely love art and I absolutely love helping people. So this would be the perfect job, combining these two things. Having experienced therapy myself - and still going, I know the significance and difference it makes; I would love to make somebody else feel helped especially through art.

Relationships/my own family:

I'm not quite sure what I'm hoping for in terms of this but Insha'Allah the best can come my way. But I definitely hope to bring up a family of my own one day, Insha'Allah; that's all I'm going to say.

Other dreams:

• I would love to write and publish a book: fictional or even a self help book
• I've imagined about bringing out my own clothing line in the future as well as my own makeup brand 
• I hope to start YouTube and Insha'Allah to become successful and well known in terms of that
• It would be a dream come true if I ever got to work with Habiba Da Silva, or even meet her in fact
• I hope to inspire as many of my beautifuls out there and change as many lives I can, even in the very slightest 
• Most importantly, I hope to keep my friends and family proud, safe and happy

I love you all beautifuls,

Sanyha xo

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